Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Light

I just wish Anastasia could have gone with us to the Grand Canyon, and could have enjoyed herself as much as Nicolai did. Oh, how I missed her.

They said it would be hard. It was supposed to be a fight. "Most kids in her situation don't get what they need because of budget cuts. You'll have to appeal, and push, and push, and push."

Guess what? I didn't. We went in, had the meeting, and it was decided. She will recieve maximum benefits.

Don't you think that if nothing were really "wrong" (not my words) with her, that it would have been hard? Don't you think they would have laughed me right out of the building? No, Mrs.Something-Stuck-Up-My-Rear sister-in-law, she starts her services next month. Not one of the board members had even the slightest doubt that Anastasia could be special needs.

She'll be going to a year-round school for 8 hours a day. I'm so nervous... I can't imagine her in a room full of strangers for an entire day.

I take comfort knowing that it is necessary. Hard, but necessary. In six months time she should be coming to us and asking for what she wants, intstead of screaming and throwing herself down. She should be able to use an open cup without getting upset and throwing it down. She should be putting simple wooden puzzles together, playing matching games, playing with other kids without completely freaking out, going potty even!

I don't feel so lost anymore.

We can finally see a light.

Thanks for stopping by,

Road Trip!

Scroll down for pictures! (All the way for Grand Canyon pictures.)
Last month, I happened upon a picture a friend of mine had taken from his trip to the Grand Canyon. Whenever I see pictures like that, I get sad. I always wanted to travel and take beautiful pictures of the places I would go. When I turned 18 and moved out here with my husband, my mom witheld my birth certificate and social security card, so I couldnt get a job. Shortly after moving, our first little suprise came along. Four months after she was born, our second little suprise made himself known. If it weren't for them, I still don't think I'd have any identification.

Now I'm 22 and I weigh 60 pounds more than when I came out here. SIXTY POUNDS! The two pregnancys really took a toll on my body. When Anastasia was born, I couldn't leave the house. I didn't have my license and all she wanted to do was cry. We know now that she's possibly autistic, and that's why she would do nothing but scream and cry. Then Nicolai was born, I still had no license, and was stuck home with a newborn and a 13 month old.
I got a gym membership, and so far I've lost about 10 pounds. I need to lose quite a bit more before I'll be comfortable with myself.
So when I see amazing pictures like this, pictures that I should be taking, I sometimes get depressed. I love my children dearly, I am glad I have them! Sometimes I just wish I could have traveled and lived that lifestyle for a little while before they came along. So when I stumbeled on this picture, I felt the saddness. I told him how we live right near the Grand Canyon, but I wouldn't be able to go there for at least another year or two.
Three weeks after that comment, my cousin-in-law came in to town. He was going to the Grand Canyon and wanted to take some of his family along! After much convincing, my husband decided it could be fun. We found a sitter for our daughter, and took our son along.

We left at 8pm and arrived around 11pm. Nicolai did very well in the car, he actually slept most of the way. That is, the whole way there. On the way back, all he did was cry :(

(Don't worry, I kept a close eye on him.)

We got to our hotel, slept, and started out at 10am. We were right in the middle of the West Rim and the South Rim, so we had to drive 2 hours to get to either. The nearest food was over 45 minutes away. I was so mad.

And would you believe, the nearest resteraunt was called "The Roadkill Cafe"?

We did not eat there.

We saw all kinds of cool, old buildings...

I loved this sign.

Since moving to Vegas, I've had an overwhelming urge to be in nature again. I didn't realize it when I lived there, but I am so a country girl.
It was refreshing to have nothing but grass and mountains surrounding us.

We got to see all kinds of animals, wild and captive. I think I may have had more fun getting there than actually being there.

There were signs allover saying "Do Not Feed The Wildlife". Hubby didn't listen, fed it, and it bit him.

Cute little thing though!

We watched a Bear fight, though we were so far away I couldn't get a good one of them swatting eachother.

I really loved this little guy!

And this one.

This one plain scared me. I hate goats. He looks... evil.

The Grand Canyon was absolutely amazing.

It was either hazey or storming the entire time.

My best panorama. This is actually like 4 or 5 pictures.

And my favorite photo of the entire weekend...