Thursday, June 2, 2011

It didn't used to be this way.

I haven't made a post in a while... not a real post anyway. We've had to deal with a few unexpected expenses, and I haven't had time to make one. I'm sorry :(

I have a Passport USB drive that holds every photo and video I have ever taken of our children since they were born and even before they were born. Two nights ago, my husband took it out of my laptop without safely removing it, so he could watch movies on the TV through the computer. Later on, I plugged it back in, and the computer could not recognize the passport. Every photo, every video I had ever taken of my beautiful babies were gone.

Newborn Anastasia                                                                                   Newborn Nicolai, his first latch. Mama needed some help :)

July 4th, 2008                                                                                          August 13th, 2009

They may not taken with a fancy camera, clear of noise, or well composed. But they are pictures of my babies, and I treasure them.

Nicolai, 1 Day Old
They are connected to precious memories, memories that lay forgotten in the back of my mind until I stumble across an old picture. I adore these pictures, they mean the world to me. And they were gone.

Anastasia, 1 Day Old, and her Daddy
I cried for hours. I yelled at my husband, told him not to touch me and to get away from me. I had told him many, many times not to just unplug it, but to click "safely remove" first.

Nicolai, 3 months old
Later that night, he held me and may have even cried with me. He told me would fix it nomatter what, nomatter the price.

Nicolai, 7 months old
And he did.
A guy came out to the house and recovered the information for $225. The drive was totally fried, and inaccessable without his many programs.

Looking through my beloved photos, I realized something. Anastasia was not always this way. She didn't have everlasting tantrums, she made eye contact with us, she played without getting over stimulated, she played and showed interest in other children, she actually ate food. So I'm trying to figure out when it happened... and why?

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